The Memory That Almost No One Keeps
Most people assume we’re born as blank slates, that consciousness begins at birth and life is just a series of random events we have to muddle through. Christian Sundberg lived with that assumption too – until his meditation practice at age 30 triggered the return of memories that completely flipped his understanding of existence.
These weren’t past life memories or near-death experiences. They were pre-birth memories – detailed recollections of choosing this specific life, reviewing its challenges in advance, and voluntarily accepting what he calls “the veil” that would strip away all memory of who he really is.
For the first five or six years of his life, Christian had carried these memories naturally. As a toddler barely able to walk, he was fully aware that humans aren’t really from Earth – we’re just visiting to have this particular type of experience. He thought everyone knew this basic fact about existence, since it seemed so obvious to him.
The memories faded as he became more identified with his human character, more deeply associated with form and story and identity. By age six, they were completely gone. He didn’t even remember that he had once remembered.
Twenty-four years later, when meditation opened doorways to non-physical experiences and out-of-body adventures, these pre-birth memories returned with stunning clarity. They felt both incredibly ancient and vibrantly alive in the present moment – more real than his day-to-day earthly experience.
The Soul Who Got Inspired by Suffering
Christian’s pre-birth memories stretch back to long before he had ever been physical at all. He recalls encountering a being who radiated an extraordinary quality of joy and power that was immediately recognizable as the result of having lived through intense physical challenges.
The Conversation That Changed Everything This being shared telepathically – since everything in non-physical realms happens through direct feeling and knowing rather than clunky words – how he had lived through a painful, chronic health condition in a physical life. The way he had chosen to meet that experience, the quality of intention he brought to it, had refined his essence in ways that created this breathtaking joy and power.
Christian’s response was immediate and enthusiastic: “I want to do that. Where do I sign up?”
The being replied with playful knowing: “Yeah, that’s what they all say. You don’t know how hard it is. You just don’t know how difficult it really is.”
This exchange captures something crucial about why souls choose challenging incarnations. From the expanded perspective, the opportunities for growth and refinement through difficult experiences are so obviously valuable that beings line up for the chance to participate. It’s only from within the limited human perspective that these same experiences feel like punishment or random misfortune.
After many subsequent lifetimes and a long break from physical incarnation, Christian eventually reached the point where he was ready to tackle something specific: a very deep fear that had defeated him in a previous experience and turned him into what he describes as “an egoic monster” who damaged many others through that unprocessed fear.
The Life Review That Shows You Everything
When Christian’s guides brought him the life he would live as his current incarnation, he reviewed it in incredible detail – not as a fixed script, but as a probability tree with branches showing how choices and circumstances would interact to create different possible outcomes.
Seeing the Trauma Before It Happens He knew this body would have biological limitations that would likely lead to trauma in his twenties. From the pre-birth perspective, this wasn’t seen as something terrible to avoid, but as an incredible opportunity – a chance to be crushed and re-experience his core fear in circumstances that would allow him to finally integrate and heal it.
The potential for profound personal growth through this trauma looked “breathtakingly huge” from the soul’s vantage point. It’s only from the human victim perspective that the ego immediately protests “I would never sign up for this.”
Christian made specific requests during this life review. He asked to be intelligent again, since he’d had that quality in recent lives and preferred it. He requested parents who would instill confidence in him, knowing that confidence would be essential for having the inner strength to face his fear. He understood his father would be accepting and encouraging, providing a rock to stand on when the challenging times arrived.
He also made one request that would fundamentally alter his human experience: he asked to retain just a small bit of memory instead of forgetting everything completely. His guides warned this would make the journey more difficult because the contrast between his cosmic nature and human limitations would be more pronounced, but he accepted that additional challenge.
The Technicians Who Install the Veil
Christian’s description of the actual incarnation process reads like something between a technical procedure and a sacred ritual. After accepting the life and spending time practicing in what he calls a “veil acceptance simulator” – like being dunked underwater in a dark pool to see how long you can hold your breath – he was brought to what seemed like a technician’s chamber above the Earth.
The Organic Blanket That Changes Everything These beings were highly skilled at matching the veil to each individual soul. Since every soul has unique qualities and every life situation has its own energetic signature, creating the right organic connection requires tremendous precision. The veil itself seemed like an organic blanket that could be fine-tuned to work perfectly with each specific incarnation.
One final time, the technicians asked if he was sure he wanted to do this, because once he said yes, he’d be strapped in for the entire ride with no way out until it was finished.
Then came what Christian describes as a massive plummet in vibration – down, down, down, lower and lower until all his knowing disappeared, all his connectedness vanished, and all his memory simply wasn’t there anymore. He found himself in what felt like the vacuum of space – cold, empty, nothing there – while simultaneously being incredibly dense, like being shoved inside a tiny tuna can.
The most holy moment came when fear began rising and he started fighting to escape, just as he had in a previous incarnation attempt. The Great Spirit – what we call God – came to him and expanded him back out, letting him feel the entire universe within himself, including the consciousness and bliss of Earth’s sun churning inside his awareness.
The message was clear: “This is still what you are. You can never not be this.”
Why We Have to Forget Everything
The forgetting that comes with incarnation isn’t a cruel joke or cosmic mistake – it’s an essential feature that makes the whole experience valuable. Christian explains this through several interconnected reasons that reveal the sophisticated design behind human existence.
Full Immersion Creates Full Value If you want to experience being human, you have to actually be human. You can’t be consciously connected to your cosmic nature while trying to navigate third-grade math or your first heartbreak. The full immersion in human perspective is precisely where the value lies – like playing a video game where you have to actually be the character rather than maintaining awareness that you’re the player.
The forgetting also provides a fresh slate that frees souls from previous attachments and ego patterns. Even if you carried forward certain core qualities that define your essential nature, you don’t drag along all the specific associations and identities that might have developed in other lifetimes. You get to start completely over, learning everything from scratch – language, cultural patterns, how to relate to other people, everything.
Perhaps most importantly, the veil protects incarnated souls from what Christian calls “debilitating homesickness.” The depth of joy, love, and freedom that represents our true nature is so vast and intense that conscious memory of it would make normal human functioning nearly impossible. How do you get up and go to work when you can consciously feel that the sun is part of you, churning within your awareness?
The veil is like wearing a 100-pound coat for an entire lifetime – you develop strength and skills working within those constraints that you retain when the coat comes off. The expansion back into full cosmic awareness after death includes all the growth and refinement accomplished during the incarnation.
The Fear That Follows You Between Lives
Christian’s specific mission in this lifetime centers around integrating a fear so deep and low-vibrational that it had turned him into a destructive force in a previous experience. This reveals something crucial about how spiritual evolution actually works – it’s not about perfecting ourselves within a single lifetime, but about gradually working through the deepest patterns across multiple incarnations.
When Trauma Becomes Opportunity The trauma Christian experienced in his twenties wasn’t random bad luck – it was the precisely calibrated circumstance needed to bring his core fear back to the surface where he could finally work with it. From the soul’s perspective, trauma is often the delivery mechanism for exactly the experiences needed for growth.
This doesn’t mean souls are masochistic or that suffering is inherently good. It means that contrast and challenge provide opportunities for expansion that aren’t available in easier circumstances. Just like lifting heavier weights builds stronger muscles, working through deeper fears and limitations develops greater capacity for love, wisdom, and authentic power.
Christian developed post-traumatic stress disorder from his twenties trauma, but working through that PTSD was what allowed his pre-birth memories to return. The healing of the fear created space for remembering who he really is – suggesting that these challenging experiences often serve as gateways to expanded consciousness rather than just random hardships to endure.
The fear itself exists in what he calls “the one now” – meaning that healing it in this moment heals it across all moments, including other lifetimes where the same pattern might be playing out. This reveals the interconnected nature of all experience and why working on yourself benefits not just you, but the collective consciousness of humanity.
Multiple Lives, One Player
One of the most mind-bending aspects of Christian’s memories involves the understanding that souls can run multiple incarnations simultaneously. Since linear time is a creation rather than a fundamental reality, the higher self exists in a “one now” that transcends the sequential experience of any individual lifetime.
The Bandwidth of Soul Consciousness During his pre-birth life review, Christian processed millions of possibilities in seconds. The bandwidth available to soul consciousness is essentially infinite compared to human mental capacity. This makes it entirely possible for one soul to maintain multiple incarnations across different time periods, locations, or even dimensional realities simultaneously.
From our perspective as individual characters, we experience ourselves as separate people living sequential lives. From the soul’s perspective, all these experiences happen within one expanded now that contains infinite possibility and simultaneous expression.
This helps explain why soul groups – multiple souls working together on similar projects or with compatible intentions – can coordinate their incarnations so precisely. If your soul group is working on themes around power, healing, creativity, or service, you can arrange to incarnate together in various combinations to support each other’s growth and create specific types of experiences.
Geographic proximity in higher dimensions is based on vibrational resonance rather than physical location. Souls naturally congregate with others who share similar intentions, capabilities, or evolutionary focuses. Earth is the unusual place where you can end up stuck in a room with people you don’t resonate with at all – providing unique opportunities for growth that aren’t available in more harmonious realms.
Karma as Choice, Not Punishment
Christian’s perspective on karma completely reframes it from a punishment system to a choice-based learning opportunity. When souls return to expanded awareness after death and experience the full life review, they see exactly who they are and how their actions affected others – not through judgment, but through direct knowing.
The Self-Directed Evolution If you hurt people because of unprocessed fear or ego patterns, you see that clearly and objectively. You also see the potential for growth through integrating whatever led to those harmful actions. The choice to incarnate again and work through those patterns comes from your own recognition of the value in that growth, not from some external force demanding punishment.
Even someone who caused massive harm like Genghis Khan or Hitler would be unconditionally loved on the other side – which doesn’t mean their actions were okay, but that love and wisdom together create the context for true healing and evolution. The deepest justice comes through transformation rather than punishment.
Christian emphasizes that there’s no fundamental difference between small fears and large ones – the scope of consequences might vary enormously, but fear is fear. Everyone’s job is to work with their own fears and patterns rather than focusing on judging others. When you heal your own fear, even if it seems small, you’re helping heal the collective consciousness of humanity.
The key insight is that we never escape who we are. Every thought and action creates consequences that we’re fully responsible for, but that responsibility exists within a context of unconditional love and infinite wisdom that makes genuine healing and growth possible.
Living as a Cosmic Being in Human Form
For Christian, carrying pre-birth memories while navigating regular human existence creates a unique set of challenges. He knows firsthand both the cosmic truth of who we really are and the very real limitations and difficulties of physical incarnation.
The Challenge of Bridging Worlds He doesn’t consider himself special – he’s still heavily veiled and working through the same human challenges as everyone else. The difference is conscious awareness of the larger context within which those challenges exist. This can make earthly limitations feel more difficult in some ways, since the contrast between cosmic nature and human constraints is more pronounced.
His approach involves fully accepting whatever limitations he experiences while meeting fear when it arises, rather than trying to transcend or escape his human experience. The goal isn’t to get out of being human, but to express love, joy, and authentic nature through the human form as much as possible.
Christian notes that he very much looks forward to returning to expanded consciousness after this life ends, while being careful not to put energy toward making that happen prematurely. The purpose is to fully use this incarnation for whatever growth and service it makes possible.
His core message remains beautifully simple: whoever you are, you’re not just your human story. The you that feels like you – free, full of life and love and authenticity – is who you really are. We get wrapped up in paying bills and dealing with relationship drama and health challenges, but beneath all that rich complexity lies an unchanging essence that has absolutely nothing to fear.
This perspective transforms everything about how to approach human existence. Instead of seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances, you can recognize yourself as a cosmic being who chose this specific set of challenges as opportunities for expansion. Instead of feeling lost and confused, you can trust that you’re exactly where you chose to be, working on exactly what you came here to work on.
The amnesia is temporary. The growth is permanent. And the love that you are can never be diminished by any experience, no matter how difficult it might seem from within the beautiful, constraining, growth-producing illusion of human form.
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